Am I dating the right one?

Am I Dating the Right One?

Have you ever wondered if you’re dating the right one or if the one you are interested in could be the right one for you? Do you ever think you’re wasting your time? Is it an aggravating relationship…or a thriving life-giving one?

I get a lot of questions about the actions of shady people, but how do the good ones act? What are their patterns of behavior?

Once you figure this out, you will be miles ahead because hopefully you haven’t married them yet…or worse, had kids with them. If you have, that’s ok. There are ways to navigate that too. I know, because I’ve done it!! 🙂

First, to help you figure out if you are in fact dating the right one I’ve included links to a couple articles I wrote. These will help you figure out what kind of a person they really are. Try to keep your emotions out of it so you can have an open mind. Feel free to print them off if you find them helpful.

List of great character traits

How do I know if someone is cool (safe)?

and finally

List of abusive patterns

The reason articles like these are important is because, if you’re anything like I was when I was dating in my teens and 20’s, you may think you know what a good person is, but you really have no idea. I thought I was dating the right one a few times and boy was I wrong! LOL Taking a quick peak at these will help reality unfold! 🙂

Second, I certainly don’t want you to take any offense to that!! Please! But sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know and I don’t want you to have to deal with the same nightmares I have. The people we allow to be close to us have immense power in our lives, so choosing carefully is crucial.

Knowing whether this person passes the test, so to speak, to being a good person is the first step. Remember, niceness does not equal goodness! All the guys I dated (or married) who have screwed me over were ‘nice’ at first.

And finally, don’t be afraid to break up early. Once you have any indication that the person you’re dating is not right for you just tell them in your own way. The sooner you do this the less attached you both are and will be making this process much easier.

Here are a couple ideas:
I don’t feel like we’re right for each other.
I don’t feel like our lives are heading in the same direction.
This isn’t working for me.
I’d like us to go our separate ways.
I don’t feel like we jive.

Notice I didn’t say things like:
I think you’re really nice, but…
I still want to be friends, but…
You’re going to make some girl so lucky, but…

When we leave an open door it leads them to believe there’s still a chance. Now maybe you really do want to remain friends and leaving that open door is a risk you’re willing to take. No problem. Just know you may be revisiting this again with them.

If they have been good to you and do not give you any indication they may be dangerous, break up with them in person…but in a public place, like a coffee shop.

If they have been pretty awful then don’t feel bad sending a text. I’m usually a face to face person, but if they’re that bad then they didn’t earn that privilege and face to face may be dangerous for you.

I truly hope the one you’re dating is the right one for you, meaning they pass with flying colors and you all have a super life together! Just remember, finding the right one is like finding a needle in a haystack. That means you’re going to have to say ‘no’ a whole lot!

Love you all! Peace out!
-Teresa
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