Why does emotional intelligence matter for your teenager?
Emotional intelligence or EQ is something that is incredibly important for not only you and your relationships with your teenagers, but for them as well. The higher your EQ the more satisfying relationships…and life…will be.
So what is it? Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
But how do we know if we need improvement in this area? Well, it takes being really brave and asking some trusted friends to tell you the truth. Preface your question like this: “I’m curious if you think I do pretty well with people. I really want you to tell me the truth and I will not be upset with you at all. Do I ask good questions? Am I sensitive to the emotions of those around me? Am I self-absorbed? Am I a good listener? Am I generally good with people?
Once you figure out where you are at on the spectrum, now it’s time to improve. We can’t really offer too much feedback to our kids to help them get better in an area we struggle in. They will not receive that very well. I promise you that! They have a very good hypocrite meter! LOL
When you do decide to talk about it with your kids, or just offer some feedback to them, make sure you are very sensitive about it. We don’t want our kids to feel like we’re hammering on them about it. That never goes well. Just offer friendly feedback and if this is an area you struggle in, then be honest about it. Tell stories about times when you really dropped the ball and what you did to rectify it. Be relatable!
Our kids really hate being told what to do by a parent they can’t relate to, so that may mean sharing some incriminating stories. So many parents are scared to death to tell their kids about anything they did that was stupid, but let me tell you…they love it! LOL Laugh about it. Your ability to laugh at yourself instead of making excuses for it is a big deal to them. Remember…they can read you like a book. You’re not hiding as much as you think!
And finally, your kids will flourish in every aspect of their lives when they have a high EQ! It’s extremely valuable and important for them to get it, get better at it, and apply it well.
Good luck! You got this! 🙂 Thanks for trying so hard to be a better parent on behalf of your kids! 🙂