4 things girls really hate

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4 Things Girls Really Hate

I just did a video titled “4 things men really hate”, so to be fair I wanted to do a video titled “4 things girls really hate.” Of course, everyone is different, but from 22 years of listening to my clients rant I think 4 is pretty hard to stick to! LOL

I hope I’m accurate when I say, most girls really hate the following:

1. Girls really hate it when their man flirts with other girls. Oh boy, you’d think this would be common sense, but wow! I have seen women almost homicidal about this! LOL Guys, just don’t. Just don’t. If you are with a girl be all in. If you can’t be all in then give her the respect she deserves and break it off. Everyone deserves to me with someone that thinks they hung the moon. πŸ™‚

2. Girls really hate it when their man finds time for everything BUT her, but to add insult to injury when he does find the time to spend with her, he gropes her instead of trying to have a decent conversation.

Guys, if you’re listening to this one, this is a serious hot button with most women. It is so insulting to a woman to not spend much time with her and then when you do grace her with your presence you have the audacity to be all sexual. Really? Either make her a huge priority or break it off. She is not your sex object and if you think any woman is then get some help!

3. Girls really hate to be lied to. Women love security. They love it and need it. When she feels insecure about anything in your relationship it will never go well. If you tell the tiniest lie that you think is harmless, think again. If you lie about something little she will wonder if you can be trusted with big things…like faithfulness.

4. Girls really hate to be compared to other women by their man. I realize men have body issues just like girls do, but it seems our culture is inundated with what a woman “should” look like.

It’s getting better but thinks about this for a second. If you put 10 average men of the same height who are about the same body fat percentage together they look pretty similar. When you do the same to women you don’t have the same result. Some have no boobs and are built pretty straight up and down. Some carry every ounce of fat in their butt and thighs. Some are muscular. Some feel puffy all over! Why do you think there’s like a million different cuts of jeans for women?

The fact is, women can’t help where they carry fat if they have a tiny waist, and if they’re not born with a size C or D bra size they wonder about implants. Heck, I’m shocked Brazilian butt implants are a thing!

You don’t see guys doing those things, so be sensitive to how your girl is built. Don’t compare her to other women. She’s already doing that enough for the both of you!

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4 things men really hate

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4 Things Men Really Hate

Hi everyone! You may be asking yourself why a woman is talking about what men hate, so before you get much further in your thought process let me share something with you.

As a kid I grew up team roping which means I was around a whole lot of men and because I was pretty much addicted to it, I spent a lot of time with them. I’ve often joked that I was raised by a bunch of gruff old team ropers. Now because I grew up with them it was engrained in me quite early what not to do.

So if you have you ever been really confused why your boyfriend shies away from you in public or gets annoyed with you for seemingly no reason then this may help.

Well, of course not all guys are the same, but there are some things to remember that most of them really hate.

1. Men really hate nagging. Most people hate to be nagged, so this isn’t really a huge surprise and sometimes it’s not the women who nag. However, most women are guilty of nagging. Stop. When you want something, stop them, look them in the eye, and ask for what you want. Then, let it be.

2. Men really hate it when you embarrass them. No one likes this, but anything that could be perceived as embarrassing to your man in front of their friends and/or colleagues, in particular, is a bad idea. Women can take this pretty well in front their friends, but men are different from us. Men need to know you respect them and have their back. A man who is humiliated in public will usually get extremely angry. If you have any type of issue with them whether it’s embarrassing or it could cause an argument, bring it up in private.

3. Men really hate drama. You may think you’re just being a girl, but mature people, in general, hate drama. Hear me well. Men really hate drama. They want you to calm down and give them the facts. If you feel the need to be dramatic call one of your girlfriends.

4. Men really hate it when you won’t let them be a man. Sure guys need to learn how to integrate very well into the world with women and children. Period.

There are a couple of ways you can botch this.

One is trying to be manly and show him up. I saw a lady be really loud about how she could lift more than her husband and he was less than impressed. I don’t think she meant anything by it, but she missed this important key. Her husband sure didn’t though!

The other is not giving him space to be a man. Men are different from us. I think I mentioned that already. Just because he likes to watch sports or go hunting with his friends doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Now if you’re a sports or hunting widow then the guy has to get his priorities straight or you need to move on.

Let me expand on this one. If you’re a guy reading or watching this video you may think this gives you license to ‘be a man’ way too much. If you are with a girl you absolutely have to make a lot of intentional time to be with her, talk to her, take interest in what’s important to her, do things for her if she needs it, and make sure you SHOW her that without a shadow of a doubt you love her and she is your MAIN priority….Oh, and don’t forget her birthday!

She needs to see you do that. As things get more serious, she needs to see more and more of that without you losing your guy stuff, of course. Make sure you are communicating with her about all of this. If you notice she’s kind of sad….or mad, then you better re-evaluate your priorities.
If she’s not happy and joyful, tune in to see what’s up. It might not be about you, but it says a lot when you’re ready and willing to listen.

Just so you know, no self-respecting woman will ask you to spend time with her very many times. If she’s asked you even once then sit up and pay attention. Make some changes so she never has to ask you again. If you don’t you will find yourself dumped.

Girls, I hope you learned something here and will make any necessary changes. Of course, ask me any questions you may have.

Just love you all!
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5 things you should do with an abusive girlfriend

5 Things You Should Do With an Abusive Girlfriend

Abuse is such a hideous thing! I don’t care who it’s done by or who it’s done to…it’s awful. It’s a fact that guys are often the abusive ones, but when a girl is abusing a guy things can get real bad for him real quick.

This can help no matter who you are, but especially if you’re a guy reading this keep these 5 things in mind so you can protect yourself…mainly from going to jail for something you didn’t do!

1. Tell people! It’s really important that people know. That way if she causes a big scene and accuses you of hitting her or something, other people that you’ve confided in will hopefully come to your defense. It’s not fun to tell someone you have an abusive girlfriend, but it may come in very handy, especially if she tries to get you thrown in jail!

The other reason to tell people is in the situation of blackmail. Often blackmail (if you don’t do ‘this’ I’ll say you did ‘this’ type stuff) can be pretty common with abusers. So, when you tell others what she’s threatening you with, you take her power away. It’s not fun for you, but it is added protection!

2. If you’re still trying to figure out how you’re going to break up with her…you are going to break up with her, right?..make sure you are never alone with her. What’s even better is to be in very public places so you cannot reasonably be accused of something you didn’t do.

3. WHEN you break up with her, make sure also to do it in public. Abusers often tend to behave a little better when there are other eyes to watch. For added protection, ask some friend to show up where you will be and do their own thing. She may behave even better when there are people she knows there.

4. Don’t engage. WHEN she causes a scene wherever, whenever, never engage. Just calmly walk away. Get in your car and drive away. Then she’ll be the one looking like the fool instead of you.

5. Finally, and very importantly, block everything of hers. Block her phone number, email, social media accounts…everything. And when she shows up someplace you are act like you don’t know her. Seriously, act like she does not exist. If you do have to interact with her be very emotionless…apathetic.

Here’s the deal with abusers. They thrive on drama and control. When you consistently remove yourself from allowing her to use you like that she will eventually find another target. Unfortunately, abusers usually move on to the next victim instead of getting the help they need.

The fact is, she is not your problem. You worry about you and let the rest be.

I hope this helps. Having an abusive girlfriend can put an innocent guy at huge risk simply because she can claim you assaulted her and you could quite possibly end up in jail. Keeping these things in mind will help.

Here are a couple links to help you so this doesn’t happen again πŸ™‚

List of abusive Behavior Patterns

List of great character traits

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Am I dating the right one?

Am I Dating the Right One?

Have you ever wondered if you’re dating the right one or if the one you are interested in could be the right one for you? Do you ever think you’re wasting your time? Is it an aggravating relationship…or a thriving life-giving one?

I get a lot of questions about the actions of shady people, but how do the good ones act? What are their patterns of behavior?

Once you figure this out, you will be miles ahead because hopefully you haven’t married them yet…or worse, had kids with them. If you have, that’s ok. There are ways to navigate that too. I know, because I’ve done it!! πŸ™‚

First, to help you figure out if you are in fact dating the right one I’ve included links to a couple articles I wrote. These will help you figure out what kind of a person they really are. Try to keep your emotions out of it so you can have an open mind. Feel free to print them off if you find them helpful.

List of great character traits

How do I know if someone is cool (safe)?

and finally

List of abusive patterns

The reason articles like these are important is because, if you’re anything like I was when I was dating in my teens and 20’s, you may think you know what a good person is, but you really have no idea. I thought I was dating the right one a few times and boy was I wrong! LOL Taking a quick peak at these will help reality unfold! πŸ™‚

Second, I certainly don’t want you to take any offense to that!! Please! But sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know and I don’t want you to have to deal with the same nightmares I have. The people we allow to be close to us have immense power in our lives, so choosing carefully is crucial.

Knowing whether this person passes the test, so to speak, to being a good person is the first step. Remember, niceness does not equal goodness! All the guys I dated (or married) who have screwed me over were ‘nice’ at first.

And finally, don’t be afraid to break up early. Once you have any indication that the person you’re dating is not right for you just tell them in your own way. The sooner you do this the less attached you both are and will be making this process much easier.

Here are a couple ideas:
I don’t feel like we’re right for each other.
I don’t feel like our lives are heading in the same direction.
This isn’t working for me.
I’d like us to go our separate ways.
I don’t feel like we jive.

Notice I didn’t say things like:
I think you’re really nice, but…
I still want to be friends, but…
You’re going to make some girl so lucky, but…

When we leave an open door it leads them to believe there’s still a chance. Now maybe you really do want to remain friends and leaving that open door is a risk you’re willing to take. No problem. Just know you may be revisiting this again with them.

If they have been good to you and do not give you any indication they may be dangerous, break up with them in person…but in a public place, like a coffee shop.

If they have been pretty awful then don’t feel bad sending a text. I’m usually a face to face person, but if they’re that bad then they didn’t earn that privilege and face to face may be dangerous for you.

I truly hope the one you’re dating is the right one for you, meaning they pass with flying colors and you all have a super life together! Just remember, finding the right one is like finding a needle in a haystack. That means you’re going to have to say ‘no’ a whole lot!

Love you all! Peace out!
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What if my friends don’t like my boyfriend or girlfriend?

What if my Friends Don’t Like my Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

Have you ever been stuck between your boyfriend or girlfriend and your friends? You like them all, but they hate each other! AH!!! What are you supposed to do?

When your friends don’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend it’s important to spend a little time thinking about the kind of people you’re dealing with. Making a decision influenced by people who don’t have your best interests at heart is only something you will live to regret.

Check out my videos:

What’s up with fake friends?


How do you know if you have a real friend?

These videos will hopefully help you figure out whether or not to listen to your friends. They will also help you figure out if you need to make some changes in that area too!

If you have real friends, spend time really trying to listen and understand why they don’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend. Does it makes sense? Do you see their point? If you can see they’re right, why are you having a hard time breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend?

In this particular video I will help you weed through the mess and hopefully make things more clear for you. Making informed decisions is crucial to your success in any endeavor, so let’s get started!

What’s up with fake friends?!

Having fake friends can be devastating, especially when it never occurred to you that they may be fake in the first place! Our friends can really make or break our joy in life.

As I’ve gotten older and lived through more junk, it’s become quite evident that real friends are the rarity and guess what? That’s okay!

We couldn’t possibly have the time and energy for 20 real friends anyway! If you’re not sure what a real friend is so you can see why I say that there are some articles for you to take a peak at as well as a video.

List of great character traits

How do I know if someone is cool (safe)?

and finally,

How do know if you have a real friend

When we decide what we really want and need are real friends then we should become one and see what happens. We tend to attract what we are. If we have high expectations of ourselves, we will attract the like and therefore have friends that realize they need to be the real deal to hang with you.

They will see you don’t have time for fake friends…and you can spot one pretty quick, so trying to be fake won’t work with you.

Great acquaintances are fun and we can have lots of those, but those aren’t the people we really share our life with. We don’t put a lot of energy into these relationships and that’s okay! We’d wear ourselves out trying anyway!

They also aren’t really all that fake usually. A true fake friend is one that goes to a lot of trouble to keep on their hook. They’ve got some issues that will only hurt you in the end, so seeing them early will save you some heartache!

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How to know if you have a real friend

Do you ever wonder how you can know if you friends are real or fake? How do I know if I can trust them? The answer to this question can be quite liberating depending how you look at it.

I hope you can see that watching how people ACT is far more important than what they say. The story in this video should help you be even smarter so you can make some better decisions.

So I don’t spoil it for you I’d like you to consider taking a look at the following articles:

How to know if someone is cool (safe)?

The reason this one is important is because if someone, whether guy or girl, is an emotionally safe person then they mostly likely will prove to be a real friend. They are already thinking about how their actions affect other people.

List of great character traits

When you can see great character traits pretty easily you will know a fake friend from a real one quite quickly.

Always watch how they act. People can and do often talk a good game, but when it comes right down to it they don’t have their life together at all. Our goal is to spend much of our time with the most emotionally healthy people we can!

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What if my boyfriend or girlfriend threatens me?

Being threatened by anyone is not cool, but when a boyfriend or girlfriend threatens you, it can be very hurtful and even a little scary.

It’s important not to be paranoid, but to also look at this threat in light of reality. Is it real? Is it plausible? Is it done with malicious intent? If acted out will this threat cause you harm?

I hope you know me well enough to know I don’t like this kind of stuff. I think it’s pretty cowardly when threats are made especially when it’s blackmail in nature.

The best thing to do with threats are to tell people. When you shed light on this boyfriend or girlfriend who has the audacity to threaten you, you take their power away. I know it can be scary to talk about it, but think about it. It may be just what you need to do…not necessarily what you want to do.

Normal people don’t like threats. They know they’re crazy and it will cause people to come to your defense if need be. Think of it as kind of like having some insurance. If they follow through with this threat hopefully someone will come to your defense given the information you already gave them.

Breaking up with a person who does this should be priority number 1! They will only get worse and that means they will make your life miserable!

What ever you do, don’t play the game. I always tell my girls, “you can’t make a fair deal with the devil.” If you play their game you are playing with fire. Deal with it swiftly and effectively. You will be grateful!

I’ve been threatened several times before, so some of this comes from experience. Take it for what it’s worth πŸ™‚

Take a look at this video and see what you think. Let me know if you have a variation of this going on and we can talk about it πŸ™‚

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What if a guy doesn’t like you back?

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When I was in 4th grade this guy…we’ll call him Mark…had a crush on this girl…we’ll call her Emma. She had dark hair and dark eyes and was just as pretty as could be. I was pretty bummed because I really liked him, as much as a 4th grader can like a guy πŸ™‚

He on the other hand had ‘friend zoned’ me and that was awful! I still remember it, so it really must’ve bothered me!

No matter how old you are when a guy doesn’t like you back it can really hurt. You may start to wonder what’s wrong with you, if you’re pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough at whatever he likes. The list can get quite long when you’re in that state of mind.

Let me introduce you to something called pheromones. The simplest way I can explain them is they are a scent we all give off. They are involved with us being attracted to someone…or not attracted.

We all give off natural scents and they even change a bit with our own hormones. Perfume and cologne companies know all about this which is why they bank so much money!! They create scents that are attractive!

You might be thinking, ‘well, I’ll just wear perfume and maybe he’ll find me attractive!’ Hold on a minute sister!

What if these pheromones are kind of like a map helping you find the one you are meant to be with? What if that guy who doesn’t like you back isn’t meant to be your someday husband?

Whatever type of relationship you’re in, just apply this principle. Trust that God has just the right one for you and it’s not this one who’s not interested.

It doesn’t mean you’re not awesome, beautiful, brilliant and gifted. It just means he’s not the one for you. Do you really want to spend your life chasing someone who doesn’t feel the same way…all because of pheromones!

Sweetie, just grab a chick flick and some chocolate and enjoy one evening of sulking. But be up bright and early the next day because it is full of adventure! πŸ™‚

Just love you all…and if you’d like to subscribe…
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What if a guy likes me, but still has a girlfriend PART 2

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What if a guy likes me, but still has a girlfriend? Part 2

I went over this in Part 1, but I decided a Part 2 was necessary considering all the emails I was getting. Girls, in general, have pretty loving hearts and we want to believe the guy standing before us is really a Prince Charming.

But, guess what? If the guy standing before you who is all googly eyed and he still has a girlfriend, he is anything but Prince Charming! Don’t be fooled! You’re way too smart for this!

The “what if a guy likes me, but still has a girlfriend” is brought to me A LOT in a variety of different scenarios, but the answer is always the same.

Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had this guy who was way flirty with you and you were like, ‘Hey, I really like this guy’…until you found out he had a girlfriend?

And then it happens. You begin to question reality and maybe end up part of this cheating triangle.

Let me ask you one question. Would you like it if your man was flirting with another girl and actually pursuing her while he was dating you?

No way! At least I hope that’s what you’d say! When a guy like you, but still has a girlfriend he has some decisions to make. If you don’t make him make one when it comes to you, then he will play both of you.

It will be one big game to him. You might say, ‘he would never do that to me!’ Well, talk to me in a few months. I always say, “treat yourself as the rule, not the exception.” That means if he’s doing that to her, he WILL do it to you!

If a guy likes you but still has a girlfriend then all you have to say is, ‘good for you!’ He won’t know what to say. Let him figure it out. Don’t allow yourself to be played and who really wants that kind of guy (a headache) anyway?!

Check out this video to see what you think πŸ™‚

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Should I tell if a girlfriend is cheating?

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Should I tell if a girlfriend is cheating?

Hmmm…this is a loaded question. It depends. It depends on who these people are to you. Did you see it yourself? How would the person being cheated on receive it?

There are even more factors than that. When a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter, is cheating it is natural to want to tell the other person. But before you do that you need to ask yourself some valid questions.

Could you approach this cheating girlfriend in question and visit with her about it? Maybe. Depends on who she is to you.

Could you approach the guy she’s cheating on? Maybe. Again, it depends on who he is to you.

Being a tattle-tail is how it will be perceived if you don’t have some connection with these guys. There are someways you can discreetly let the offended know, but check out my video. Then think about it before you get involved.

These things always have a way of getting ugly. You have some questions to ask yourself before you take this on. Telling a someone their girlfriend is cheating on them is not going to go well.

You may be thinking you’re doing them a favor and maybe you are, but the question is WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVE? That is always the question to ask yourself whenever faced with a decision to make.

Let me tell you a story. Years and years ago this lady who was the wife of one of my now ex-husband’s co-workers made an appointment with me to have her hair weaved and cut. This is about a 2 hour appointment. I had never met her before and really didn’t think anything of it.

Her sole purpose of coming in was so she could be the one to ‘get to tell me’ that my husband at the time had a dual life. Yes, you read that correctly. At the time I had a 15 month old daughter, who happened to be home with him and I was 2 months pregnant.

I still remember where she sat, with foil still in her hair. Foil in her hair meant I still had about an hour to spend with her. I don’t think she really thought that through! I still had to cut her hair while I was so upset I was shaking.

When I look back on that I certainly am grateful that I was told, BUT I wish it would’ve come from someone who loved me instead of someone who just loved being the bearer of bad news. I don’t see her in a respectful light at all. Why? Like I said before. MOTIVE. Her motive was not about me. It was about her.


Watch this video to get a better picture and to see if you really should tell if a girlfriend is cheating!

Why is my boyfriend such a jerk?

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Why is my boyfriend such a jerk?

Why do we let this question roll around in our heads for so long? We as women give the benefit of the doubt to often it seems.

In the 22 years of being a hairstylist I’ve heard an awful lot of juicy stories about jerk boyfriends and husbands. To be fair most of my clients were women so I’m not sure what their men thought of them! LOL

There is a real simple answer to why is my boyfriend such a jerk? It’s because we let them. We teach people how to treat us.

Will your boyfriend still be a jerk if you dump him? Yes. But, guess what? He’s not your problem to fix! So freeing to hear that, right?

Your only problem is you! When you have kids then they will be your problem to some degree as well, but for now focus on you. You are the only one you can control.

There are a lot of broken people out there all because they thought they could fix someone. It’s just not true. We can influence people, but we cannot change or fix them.

If YOU let someone mistreat you it’s extremely important to analyze why. There might be some codependency issues. Maybe you were treated horribly as a kid so you don’t expect more.

There are so many facets to this! Check out this video to see what I have to say about it. When boyfriends are jerks it can wreak so much havoc in our lives and our futures, so please listen up and make some great decisions here!

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My friends are fighting

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Help! My friends are fighting and they’re making me miserable!

Our friends are fighting with each other is really a fun-sucker isn’t it? This can disrupt all kinds of fun, not to mention peace! Maybe you’re stuck in the middle. Maybe your friend group is all out of whack now. Either way, you just want it fixed, right?

There are some key things NOT to do as well as key thing to do. If the goal is to get the peace and the fun back then you really need to play your card right here and be part of the solution instead of the problem.

Sometimes just staying out of it is what’s best, but if you do decide getting in the middle is necessary then check out the video so you don’t cause more problems for yourself! This is a sticky situation, so tread carefully!

You don’t want to be the new friend that is fighting with someone. Too much drama and energy wasting! When you’re friends are fighting there are definitely some things you can do to keep it from getting worse or from you becoming the new target.

Here’s the disclaimer: If one of these people are just flat destructive or abusive then the relationship can never have peace. Restoring it would be a mistake. Being done with the relationship is the only healthy way to go.

If the destructive person gets some help and wants to come back and seek forgiveness….then maybe. Just remember, you can forgive someone without restoring a relationship. A restored relationship means there is trust that the past bad behavior will never happen again.

Tune in and see my opinion. I’ve heard SO many drama filled situations from my clients (and have lived a fair amount of them too), so this is true unadulterated experience talking!!!! πŸ™‚

And if they do ask your opinion this may help:

What does God think of women?

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What does God think of women anyway?

I’m just going to say it. There is a whole lot of messed up…like way messed up theology when it comes to God and women. It’s crazy! I’ve gone up against some heavy hitters on this topic and walked away knowing God loves me just as much as a man.

Let me get even more blunt. Am I the only one who thinks it’s crazy that God would love someone more just because they have certain body parts? Yep, said that too. Does God think certain body parts makes you smarter, a better leader, a better anything? LOL And, NO!

I can’t help but giggle to myself at the sheer insanity of this though process of some men in the church. If you have a person telling you that you can’t lead, that you can’t excel in …whatever..then you are dealing with a patriarchal fool. This patriarch isn’t of God. He or she has not an inkling of the heart of God. And this person is dangerous to you if you let them.

I don’t know if you know who Beth Moore is, but I think she’s quite amazing. She’s obviously a woman and an awesome BibleΒ teacher! If you’ve ever been to a Women of Faith conference, you’d know all of them are…yep…you guessed it…women speaking! And they rock! And God loves it!

God loves you no matter what your body parts are! He wants you to inherit all He has for you. You are a Princess of The King just like men are Princes of The King. We are to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ, not oppress one another. In fact, God is not a fan of oppression in the least. It makes Him mad.

Sadly, there are a lot of women who have been victims of spiritual abuse. I happen to have been one of them! This topic is personal to me and one God helped me battle against. He showed me how He feels about me.

He removed those patriarchal people from my life because He knows what they spew is garbage. If it’s not of God, then it is of Satan. Pure and simple.

You are amazing. God did not create you to hand your life over to a man. He created you to serve Him…the one who so lovingly created you. He has such deep love for us. So much we cannot even grasp! We are meant to be a force to be reckoned with and the One who’s with us will never leave us. He makes us that force…if we let Him.

If God didn’t think of you so highly, would He give you His power to be that force? No. God loves us so much. He doesn’t hold one gender above another. God does not show favoritism. He doesn’t love one more than another.

Sure some of us experience more blessing for one reason or another, but I assure you it has absolutely nothing to do with gender!

If you are a woman, know God loves you. If you are a man, know that God loves you too…and He did not create you to oppress women in anyway whether overly or passively. Β Just love God and love people!

Check this video out! Love you all!