THE UNSOLICITED PROMISE
This one gets my attention every time probably because I have never in my life heard my parents say, “I promise.” Ever. And I don’t say it either. I was taught to follow through with what I say I am going to do without any further need to back it up. I just do it and I expect others to do the same. It’s the old adage, “let your yes be yes and your no be no.”
It is one of the most reliable signals because it almost always has a questionable motive.
When someone is talking to you about what they will or won’t do and they add an “I promise….” it’s a red flag. Since they don’t believe what they are telling you they are assuming you don’t believe them either so their natural tendency is to attempt to convince you. So ask yourself, “Why does this person need to convince me? What do they stand to gain? And more importantly, “What do I stand to lose?”
When someone says, “I promise,” use it as a reminder of your intuitive doubt!! You are doubting the goodness of this person! Don’t overlook that! That is the defense. Say to yourself, “Thanks for reminding me I don’t have any reason to trust you.”