In the finance world the more we make the more we think we need. Often in relationships, we settle for crumbs. These two thought processes are so backward!
The more love we are shown in relationships the less we will settle for….and that’s a good thing!
In The Richest Man in Babylon there is a principle that is taught that is basically we need to live within, preferably below, our means. As it was being taught they talked about how easy it is to gray the line between what a need is versus a want. For instance, we don’t ‘need’ fancy cars and houses. We ‘need’ food, shelter, water, clothes….but not designer clothes, right?
When I was listening to this book, as I do with 99% of the books I read because I’m too busy to actually sit and read, I thought, “Huh, that is true in relationships but with them it is good while with money it is bad.”
So, follow my train of thought here. Let’s say you are shown a lot of love, affection, compassion, understanding, loyalty, encouragement, gentleness, and the like in your closest relationships. Now, let’s say you meet some guy or girl and they treat you with contempt, neglect, cruelty, manipulation and disloyalty. Do you think that you would hang around too long with that joker? I’m thinking NO! And….that’s a good thing!
Growing up the way I did in Montana one of the biggest insults you could give a woman was to call her high-maintenance. Sometimes that translated into her putting up with a whole lot of crap from a guy so she wouldn’t be called that…and because she wasn’t shown the love and support she deserved when she was growing up.
It is not high-maintenance to ‘need’ to be treated in a loving way. That is called ‘being human!’ That is precisely why we feel like we’re starving or suffocating when we are in a relationship with someone who is not consistently loving. I just have to add, it’s not just for humans. Look at how animals respond to love versus cruelty. It’s so easy to see in them but we reason it away when we are in a situation where we are starving. Don’t do that! You are worth being treated with love and respect!
If you’re a parent, think about how you treat your kids. Are you loving with them or are you especially hard on them? Is it our fault if one of our kids ends up in a bad relationship when they are older? No, they made their choices, however, we can set them up the absolute best way we can by being loving and supportive so they gravitate towards people who do the same 🙂
Much love! -Teresa
P.S. As a side note…if someone you love has ended up in a bad relationship, here’s a video for that too 🙂 https://fortheloveofteenagers.com/how-do-i-help-my-friend-in-an-abusive-relationship/