Most great parents panic a little when they see their older teen and young adult kids making decisions that are not in line with how they were raised.
This video is for both the kids and the parents so stay tuned! The topic of how parents and kids handle the transition of young adulthood is not an easy mistake-free road for sure! I have made my fair share of mistakes so with that and 24 years of experience of hearing the good, bad and the ugly from all sides of this topic I’d like to offer some perspective we could all learn from.
It’s really important for parents to realize a few things as they are sticking their foot in their mouth about yet another thing they see their kids doing they don’t agree with.
- Yes, we are coming from a place of fear and love when we see that awful road they’re choosing.
- Yes, we are confused at their choices and often hurt and frustrated.
- But…it is their road, their process, their journey. It is not ours to manipulate or control.
- No one in their right mind wants to be controlled
- So, these are your choices. You can either have control and no relationship (because in the end, that is what will happen) or you can have influence and the possibility of a good relationship with your child.
- We can choose to communicate well with a well-delivered love sandwich and be there when it all comes crashing down with love and encouragement instead of condescending judgement.
- We can pray and pray and pray for them which is by far the most powerful thing we can do anyway.
Kids…teens…young adults. Whatever your exact age, who I’m really talking to are kids in their late teens and early twenties who are having difficulties with their parents shoving their beliefs down their throat. Here are some things to remember when you’re feeling frustrated and angry.
- When you see your parents lose it it is coming from a place of fear because they love you so much. They don’t want to see you go through any more bad things in life than you have to.
- If it is the area of faith, they are literally afraid you will die without placing your faith in Jesus and go to Hell. There. I said it. That is what their pure, unadulterated fear is. And…it is valid.
- You can still communicate well with your parents and still go on your exploration of what you want your life to look like.
- Don’t waste what someone tells you even if you don’t like it or them. If it’s good, apply it. If it’s not, walk away much sooner rather than later before you start reasoning with stupid things! 😉
- Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face! That is really dumb!
- Life is made up of little decisions. Ask yourself, “What little RIGHT decision can I make?” all the time. And the decisions you’ve made that aren’t so good? It’s never too late to make a course correction. Just do it as soon as you think of it.
The lesson of the day is choose influence, good decisions and communication over control….and be kind always. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s called being human. Give each other the space to fail and forgive.
Much love! -Teresa